Women Empowerment!? A wonder thought!

Women empowerment. How powerful and intense; the phrase sounds! Almost like Beethoven’s music, sounds heavenly. But then, shake up a little… and I started thinking what does it actually mean to women like me in a day-to-day life? In relations and in interactions?

The dictionary meaning equally emphasizes on giving authority to women on their rights. Sounds great on paper. Yes! Indeed. But what change will it bring in to the daily lives of women folks? Because most of us, even in so called modern times hesitate to assert ourselves, forget about empowerment.

This debate was brewing within me since long. How an empowered woman feels? How she conducts herself? What changes in her life?

One day, suddenly, out of nowhere a thought stuck me. I think I got what it is get empowered. What it is to feel empowered. Why restrict the empowerment to women alone.. men need empowerment too… in different senses.

What changed in my life that made me feel empowered all of a sudden?! Nothing much actually:) The routine remains the same- lunch box packing, getting my tiny tot ready for school, household chores, taking care of the family members…yes, almost everything remains the same except that I have started working, as a part time blogger.

But that is it. My responsibilities, priorities, round the clock chores nothing changed.

I have been a working woman before marriage and kid happened. I have lived independently almost all of my life. But never felt I am empowered. This reverse thought got me thinking … financial independence in NO KEY to empowerment! It helps you do many more things in life but can not guarantee the  empowerment.

How many women out there are abused, tortured, insulted despite being financially independent! I don’t want to use the word victim. I hate that feeling of helplessness….yeeeks.. How hopeless life becomes when you feel victim.

Then what is it that empowers us? What is it to feel empowered? Back to dock??? Yeah..

To me empowerment dawned in the form of feeling. In the form of awareness. Awareness leads to confidence. I feel confident. I feel capable and free to take decisions. Free of pressing societal expectations, free of my own fears and prejudices, free of my own expectations of myself. Now, THAT IS EMPOWERMENT! Isn’t it???

Empowerment is a feeling.

As long as we ( irrespective of gender and status) feel victimized, as long as we feel subjugated to others and our own  whims and fancies or egos, we can not be empowered. Ever!

No one can empower us but ourselves. Taking some pain and time to cultivate awareness, understanding and confidence goes a long and enthralling way to empower ourselves.

I feel empowered, so I am empowered. Feel. Get everything within you to feel that confidence in yourself, undertake tasks that boost your self esteem; however miniscule that step that is.. take it. First step always counts.

I am happy I discovered this rocket science;-) My level of self understanding has elevated. My interaction with others ( family, friends, frenemies, work partners) is on the different level now. And yes, that is how it reflects when you feel empowered. Do everything in your power to come alive, stay put in trying times, trust the loved ones and of course the obvious – Trust yourself to win over any obstacle.

I have the right to live dignified life. I have the right to chose my spouse. I have the right to decide when I’ll start the family. I have the right to decide what I’ll cook for dinner. I have the right to skip that oh-so-important party of some frenemies, I have the right to decide what I’ll do in my free time. The list goes on…. Trivial matters??? You don’t know, but we, ladies, are fighting for these rights since ages.

If these things change, then that I call empowerment. For empowerment is no politician’s surprise Diwali gift. It is the gift we give to ourselves. We empower ourselves. Lend a helping hand or a understanding heart to someone who is trying to get empowered. Build a community that helps and nurtures. That is in the truest sense empowerment.

Can any politician do it? Can any guru do it? Can any one wealthiest person on this earth do it?? No. We can do it. Let’s empower ourselves and others around us. Let’s live respectably and let others do the same.

So feel. It all starts with a feeling. Get empowered.

Edit 1: I see so many  fabulous ladies taking up their passion in pursuit of fulfillment. That’s simply amazing for the spark lying dormant for many years make you jump up and moreover give one a sense of purpose, a sense of being in-charge.

Now, that’s empowerment! Freedom to choose what’s right for our physical, mental and emotional well being.

In pursuit of higher planes we realize the importance of today and the NOW. Balancing comes seamlessly as we multi task and prioritize. The feeling of being in-charge of our lives itself is so freeing 🙂

Can any outsider make us feel empowered? Can anyone gift us empowerment?

Answer is ourselves. We are responsible to get and feel empowered. It comes from within.

Let’s get empowered. Let’s build a supportive community that encourages empowerment; which does not fear empowering people because that would threaten their authority.

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Bollywood! A city of fakes; IS Anyone real Here?!

Om Puri, Bhaijaan, KJO, Mahesh Bhatt, Nagesh Kukunoor and on and on and on… Such bigwigs of the HIndi film industry have spoken against banning Pak actors in India! Why? Do they forget they are Indians first before being an actor? Isn’t their existence a direct consequence of country’s existence and freedom & security given to us by our soldiers at the border?

Om Puri remarked in the debate rather callously, who asked soldiers to this job?!!!! Really?! Did we hear it right? And the reason not to ban Pak actors; is producers will incur heavy losses! Incredible! The actor is trying to equate the financial loss to the loss of life?! No not just that. When a soldier sacrifices his life; his family’s  dear member, security and stability are lost too. Can this HUUUUUUUGE loss be  put on same pedestal as a financial loss of some crores?

How insensitive!

Just imagine – barging on the enemy with fire arms, killing and dying in lieu, sacrificing your very own dear life, putting your family in uncertain circumstances and struggle for what? Some meagre thousand rupees? Yes, they are not paid in lakhs and crores like these ARTISTS! Yeah! I have started getting jitters with that term now.

No complaint, no explanation, no second thought. Our soldiers are proud of what they are doing. We in our sanest of thoughts too, shrug off the very slightest thought of going this heights for our country AND these people and their families do this with utmost gusto!! My breath stops even to think of such highest sacrifice. How brave!

You can say anything in the name of artist, these days! It all boils down to freedom of expression… What an irony! Why do they fail to recognize that their work and personal life gets its fame because they are living in a free, safe, protected environment like INDIA!

I see all these actors as fake. They are just those beautiful looking ( or rather painted)puppets of their directors and producers. Leave them to themselves and you know their true worth. Their  thoughts aren’t even worth a penny! Seeing them onscreen is much better than seeing them in open! They are hazardous!!!!

The army doesn’t battle it out for their personal gain. They don’t derive any pleasure or enjoyment firing and taking fires. Unlike the Bollywood actors. Very contrasting situations, aren’t they? In no way soldier’s sacrifice and valor can be equated to any amount of, however obscenely huge, amount of financial loss or personal hurt.

If the civil society behaves as if nothing has happened and play cricket, exchange delegations, give work to Pak’s artists ( How I hate that term now:-( ) …. what moral it builds of the army at the border? It simply means – we don’t care why and how you are dying, we can only think of our business. MEAN, VERY MEAN!

Is there anyone real? Being human, seems to have remained only a punch line like in the films. Oh, I forget, these actors can not think and feel beyond their films, alright.

Thanks to Nana Patekar and Anupam Kher and alike people who could at least hear their inner voice and act true to it.

Years of acting has made these superstars shallow and fickle. Fake personalities. Disappointing. Why should we pay to watch their antiques on scree, after all; when they can’t even talk some sense in National Interest and Integrity?

 

So what if I demand?

The tabloid is abuzz with latest Bollywood news that an actress refused to work with a certain lesser known actor. There is noise and chatter all over the Internet. Being an actor how could she? Why did she? That’s double standard. She shouldn’t have done this. !!!!!

What’s wrong, I ask. What’s wrong if an actor says she is not comfortable working with someone? What’s wrong is standing up and asserting her comfort ( or not so comfort) level? Just because she happens to be a female actor, her denial comes as a blow to some male egos, probably. Haven’t some established male actors done this earlier? Yes, they have been choosy. The male actors, established stars have a say in who they want to work with, who they choose as their leading ladies in the film. Then, why can not a female actor have the same right? All the rights are reserved with male superstars…ehh?!

Don’t we choose our friends? Don’t we choose our careers? Don’t we choose which organisation we want to work with? Don’t we choose whom to befriend among all those colleagues in office? When we are vocal about our choices why can’t a celebrity be? Why do we forget ..everyone has the right to choose.

So, Deepika..here’s a toast for you. For setting new standards in an industry that is star struck . Kudos. Keep going, keep choosing.

 

Love

I just happen to love
love everything I encounter
love every feeling I feel
love my tears .. I love my sadness
I love how my tiny tot looks at me
I love how my love touches me
I love the look of a stranger
I love the fallen leaves
Lovely are the blooming flowers
Love is the way of God

Butterfly to Caterpillar

How could this reverse journey be? Painful and tiresome in contrast with the natural metamorphasis that is painful too but at the same time breathtaking one. While the caterpillar experiences exhilerating moment of liberation, the butterfly sulks in resentment!

My journey was the one of painful, tiresome and resenting butterfly. I was far from holding grudges and quick in moving on. Believed in living my own life and letting others do the same. Fiercely advocated equality and dignity. Willing distanced myself from all those people and situations that didn’t comply with my values. I had freedom to choose.

In the rush of making some people comfortable, those I thought are important at that point of time;  I compromised on those qualities that made me a butterfly. I erred in my judgements, put up with derogatory talks, let people hurt my dignity..all this with a hope that things will fall in place, they will improve! Little did  I realise that my feathers are shrinking and fading. Sooner than  I thought  I was struggling within myself to justify my existance. Slowly but surely  I was getting coiled in survival-of-the fittest syndrome. I had to survive, I had to exist and hence  I had to fight. I did.

Now a butterfly has turned into a caterpillar. No more flying, no more freedom, no more choices. I have no inclination to fight anymore for anything.

Restless mind

As restless as wind

as stable as pond ,my mind does a U turn on  every passing thought.

Breeze like thoughts sweep my mind

let me wind..

Creepy, happy and  all smiles

my thoughts play with my mind

oh-so-poor-me , I see my mind turn around and walk away with another thought!

Religion : why do we need it?

What comes to mind when we think of religion? Different forms and names of the gods ,customs, prayers, scriptures..? Yes. But the religion is part of all these and beyond. Can we say a religion is just this? Something that we perceive or is it far beyond our perceptions? Why does a religion exist in the first place? Do we really need something like that?

Religion is a moral compass that we hold to take us in the right direction. The purpose is to enhance the quality of our lives and advance our understanding of life and the living. The guidelines a religion provide are :

. The innate understanding that every living and non-living being must be respected.

. The universe is the place for all. Everything and everyone must co-exist in harmony.

. Creation of societies and certain rules for healthy and happy living.

It’s in everybody’s best interest to adhere to the underlying purpose of religion. Interestingly, this framework of religion has undergone sea change in all these centuries. Let’s do away with the evil versions of religion which denies respect to fellow beings, raises barriers among us, teach hatred and intolerance towards other disciplines. Let’s follow core of all religions –Humanity.